“Seannnn…. Get in the Game! You really have no idea what is
going on do you Se-aann?, the airplane is burning, you and 52 other people are going to die here
today cause you can’t remember what you’re supposed to be doing. Goddammit get
in the game” he was screaming at me. Six inches from my ear, nattily dressed,
pleasant cologne and his minty fresh breath, screaming at me. At that point it took every ounce
of self restraint to keep from telling him to take his nonpaying job and stick
it right up his ass, but I had already invested six weeks into this program and
didn’t want to go home empty handed. Besides I really wasn’t sure how I would
get home or what I would do for a living if I quit now.
It was FTD session 4 at the training center. The FTD or
flight training device is an actual cockpit of an Embraer 145 that had been
totaled during a runway mishap a few years earlier and the company had engaged
CAE to develop it into a procedures trainer. Essentially they took the flight
deck off of the airplane, replaced the windshields with frosted Plexiglas and
built interfaces between the switches and controls that simulated a real
airplane. All you couldn’t do is taxi or land it. They had two of them in small
data centers at the training center with a whole host of computers sitting
around them on raised floors. You climbed an industrial metal platform to
access it and there was room for the crew flying, the instructor/operator and
another crew who got to witness their classmates being tortured in the device.
Session 4 was emergency drills and was part of the buildup
to simulator training. It wasn’t a
training gate so the session was instructional in nature not a measuring event,
meaning it was non jeopardy. The instructor was a guy about my age who showed
up late because of traffic commuting into work. Travis and I were initially
relieved that he was late as it gave me more time to review. And frankly, I
really needed the review.
Captain Johnny Rocket met us in the employee cafeteria. He
showed up in a pair of pressed black slacks a professionally laundered starched
white shirt open three buttons from the top and a light grey patterned silk
sport coat and expensive polished tan loafers. Wearing a watch the size of a golf ball, he
apologized for his tardiness, got himself a diet coke and led us into one of
the briefing rooms. Introductions led the discussions with Captain Rocket
telling us about his career at the airline, his prior work as a police officer
and military service. He liked what he heard from Travis a fellow southerner
but largely due to his prior experience flying a Dash 8 for Piedmont. He didn’t
seem to know what to make of me. A fifty three year old New Yorker dressed
similarly to him, launching a new career into a field mostly populated with
guys in their mid twenties and early thirties.
After six weeks of introductions I had my elevator pitch
about my experience fairly well honed so after the pleasantries we launched
into the briefing of what we were intending to accomplish over the next three
hours.
We talked about what was going to happen, which built on what we had been working on to
date. The first part was review and reinforcement. We would have to work
through all of the on the ground flows from the “hello and happy to meet you”
safety inspection, followed by the power up, receiving flow and checklist, the before
start flow and before start/pushback checklist. Engine start would follow where
we would then perform the after start flow and checklist. Then we would do the
taxi checklist, which could be either a two engine taxi or a single engine
taxi. If it was a single engine taxi we would have to perform a delayed engine
start flow and taxi checklist, which at this point in my training could have
been a condition for meltdown. We would have to be ready for takeoff within 45
minutes from sitting down with the airplane configured correctly and ready for
take off.
A takeoff climb out and vectors around for an ILS approach
would be next and we’d do this a couple of times then he would introduce the
emergencies which was the meat of the lesson. The primary procedure we were to experience
was smoke in the cockpit from some failure induced by the instructor. We had spent the past six weeks reviewing the
memory and immediate action items so we were quizzed on them. Today we were
going to expand on them by experiencing them in the cockpit of the trainer,
going thru the procedures we had only memorized actually touching and actuating
the knobs dials and switches as we worked through the Quick Reference Handbook
donning the oxygen masks, smoke goggles in the process.
Travis volunteered to go first, so I would have the
opportunity to see where my knowledge was thin, learning from my partner a
current 121 pilot. The briefing ended after an hour and we adjourned to the FTD
room and got a fifteen-minute break. I put my gear in the left seat and called
Judy and she wished me luck and did her best supporting spouse routine. After
six weeks of tolerating me living in a hotel away from her and the home, her
encouragement was about as polished as my experience elevator pitch. We squared
our gear in the FTD and set about ‘building our nests’ to try to get a jump on
the tasks soon to be encountered.
The instructors usually had the prior crews leave us “Easter
Eggs” to find. This was where they would put the switches and knobs in
inappropriate positions pulling circuit breakers and the like to verify that we
were actually going through our flows and setting things up as required, so
getting there early was imperative. Travis set about doing his thing while I
watched trying to remember everything we had been studying up to that point and
getting nervous as hell.
Captain Rocket was talking to someone on his cell phone and
hearing the one side of it I could tell we were a lot alike by the things he
was saying. He talked about where he was going to meet this person after he got
off from work, how the food and drinks were good and all about how gorgeous the
friendly barmaid who served them is. For some reason this relieved me as I
thought about his life and how he knew it would continue in three hours with a
drink and some food flirting with pretty women, three of my favorite things to
do.
In contrast, my mindset was nothing like that. Like a deer
in the headlights, I was behind the eight
ball and at that point all I was concerned with was getting thru this session still
employed.
“I can only piss on the fire that’s closest to me” was my
mantra up till this point in the program and I wasn’t deviating from it today.
Jeremy B52 had said that to me one night over a few beers,
and it stuck. He was from Shreveport LA married with a three year old son. A
B52 commander for the Airforce Reserve he had a job with the squadron that paid
him three times what he would be making at the airline, so he looked at our new
job as a way to get a restricted ATP and some civilian experience so when his
reserve bid was finished he’d be snapped up by Delta, United or Southwest.
We started, and as I was in the left seat I was the Captain
or the non-flying pilot so I got to use the checklist to do my flows, as we
hadn’t learned left seat. I watched as Travis expertly worked through the FO
flows picking out a few Easter eggs and correcting them as Captain Rocket
watched, still having his conversation with his friend in the real world. The
FTD process is used to introduce pilots to line flying, the process and
procedures of getting a transport category airplane off the gate and out to the
runway. Travis had been working at Piedmont for a couple of years and he had quit
to come to the airline to get jet time. He had done it in the real world daily,
on a more difficult airplane than this one.
“Good catch Travis” came from Cap’n Johnny as Travis righted the wrongness.
Myself, as usual, I was drowning in fear with a head stuffed full of a lot of
disassociated knowledge-not knowing what I was supposed to be doing, when or
why I was supposed to be doing it.
The drills were as expected, we got thru the flows and
checklists and were miraculously transported to the end of runway 15L in
Houston. We had to run the before takeoff flows and checklists plus the takeoff
call outs that are required when leaving the earth in a 25 ton aircraft.
This was one of my weak spots as I never connected all of
the studying we were doing to practical application. Things need to be checked
and said, operations performed in a sequence after certain criteria is met.
Having no exposure to this type of flying, all of my learning was to this point
was disjointed, accomplished solely to get past the next fire. It all started
falling apart during the first takeoff roll.
Jetlink 4999 cleared for take off climb runway heading
maintain 4000 Captain Rocket called out. I respond 4999 cleared for takeoff
runway heading 4000 while Travis finishes the before takeoff checklist by verbalizing
“ Runway 15 verfied, exterior lights on, before takeoff checklist complete then
advances the thrust levers while saying Set Thrust. I say “Thrust set 85.5
percent” replacing his hands on the
power levers. As we motor in the blind down the runway I say 80 Knots to which
Travis responds Cross Check. Our speed increases down a runway we cant see as
we accelerate I call out V1 rotate. Travis pulls back on the control column as
I call out Positive rate and he replies with Gear Up, Heading, Low Bank. I
reach across and lift the gear handle. While my hand is moving across to the
flight control panel I stumble for a second and ultimately press the correct
buttons but forget to press the yaw damper button. At 1000’ above the surface I
forget my call “Acceleration Height” and Travis is motioning to me to say it
trying his best to remind me that I am fucking up without calling attention to
it in front of the Rocket man.
V2 + 15 is the next call out and I miss that one too. Johnny
is starting to notice all is not well with my pilot not flying skills and he
pauses the simulation.
“Sean your partner is waiting for you to tell him things so
he can do other things. When you don’t respond in the anticipated manner you
are putting him and the passengers at risk. He has to wonder whether you are part
of the crew or whether you are incapacitated. So just say it, he’s waiting for
it. Its like a handshake, he’s got his hand out and you’re leaving him hanging”.
I know I’m fucking up, and I glance quickly at my watch to
see how much more time I have to deal with before I can leave, have a few
drinks, food and look at a pretty barmaid.
We’re squarely in my weak spot now because no matter how
many times I study this stuff, without having an understanding of when and how
it is used, it just doesn’t click. Flying the airplane I have no problem with,
shooting the ILS down to minimums or holding a speed and heading during the
climb leveling off and maneuvering is a walk in the park when we get around to
it. The mechanics of flying are of no concern to Captain Johnny. Unfortunately for
me, all of those skills are assumed, you’ll get no credit for that because
after all, we’re all professional pilots with ATP ratings or at least the
prerequisites for the rating. The things
I am good at count for nothing here.
We’re repositioned back to the runway again and we go thru
the drill again, with no better results which is clearly irritating our
instructor. Travis is doing his best to cover for me, but each screw up is pissing
off the instructor and taking my nervousness up an order of magnitude.
Travis performs perfectly, he started this training three
days after leaving his previous job. He’s seen an EICAS and annunciator panel
before and knows which buttons to push to silence the master cautions and
warnings. Myself the largest airplane I had ever flown was a Piper Seneca and I
had a rough time with that. During the
preflight briefing the flying pilot has to run through the litany of what we
are going to do in the case of an emergency. This was another item that was
briefly touched on while I was fighting the fire closest to my dick so
naturally I was listening intently as Travis did his so I could remember what
he said and repeat it. Naturally this
was an additional item added to the things I was worried about already, things
I was deficient in during my partners stellar performance.
All this is rattling around my head as we’re flying getting
ready for all hell to break loose.
The non flying pilot’s role to fix any problems that occur
while the flying pilot takes care of flying.
I didn’t really understand this
when I volunteered to be first in the hot seat. Actually I was so far behind
the ball, I had no idea I was in the hot seat. I was having difficulty just
remembering what I needed to know when things worked correctly, my head and
hands full enough with the procedures, knobology, callouts of a typical day.
When things go bad
the pilots first turn to “memory items” . These are items that we were drilled
on from the second day of ground training. run the immediate access item
checklist then transition to the Quick Reference List which, though it sounds
brief, it’s a wire bound book about an inch thick.
Ding – The flight attendant call button was pushed so I
press the corresponding button on the overhead panel. It’s captain Johnny but he tells me its
“Bubbles” in his best bimbo voice. “Captain there is smoke in the cabin it’s
starting from the back of the plane and is halfway to the front”. I say “standby”
and “we’ll get back to you”
Travis and I start with our memory items. Oxygen mask don,
100%, smoke goggles don, recirculation fan off, crew communications establish
is the procedure. I put the mask on uneventfully and went into the bag where
the smoke goggles were stored. I was wearing my glasses, which are no line
progressive trifocals, in the frantic dash to get the goggles on they knocked
my glasses sideways so one side was about a half inch higher than the other.
This drill had been conducted with every new hire pilot since these devices
were built and as such the smoke goggles
had considerable scratches and while transparent enough to see through with my
glasses on sideways reading would be challenging.
After the memory items were completed I am loudly reminded
to run the Immediate Action Items Checklist. As the non flying pilot I was to
be the guy who fixed the problem. The IAC essentially details what we had
already done as memory items and is finished with “memory items complete do to
page 1-217” in the QRH.
We’ve been informed by bubbles that it is Lavatory Smoke so
I start looking for page 1-217 to find out what we need to do next. The QRH is
an orange book and I am frantically paging through it trying to find the
information that I need to fix the situation.
With the scratches in the goggles and my glasses askew I’m
having a hard time focusing on anything. Getting shouted at by an ex cop
doesn’t make it any easier.
I’m supposed to be locating circuit breakers and pulling
them. The breakers are identified by alphabetical rows and numbered columns and
naturally that is a detail we learned in ground school that has slipped my mind
in the heat of the moment, plus I really cant see or read anything. The
shouting continues. Finally our instructor realizes it isn’t going to get any
better, we’re nearly out of time and the next set of victims are waiting
outside.
We make it through the session primarily because Travis is
on the ball and we’ve allocated all of the time we can use in the FTD. We don’t
make it through the complete program but Captain Rocket deems we’ve done enough
to warrant calling it a session. We’re
told to pack up, take a short break and reconvene in a briefing room upstairs.
I get there first and the first thing out of his mouth is
“Se-aann are you a nervous man?” I know
where he’s going with this and now that I’m out of the airline element my
business experience takes over. “Not typically” I say and leave it at that.
He’s baiting me for an excuse or something he can use to run me down some more
but I’m not biting. “Well what are those
pills you got in your flight case?” I carry an arthritis bottle of Advil and a container of Tums
everywhere I go, always have no matter where I’ve worked. I simply respond
“Advil and Tums” which annoys him further. Captain Rocket enjoys putting people
on the spot and views it as his mission to weed out the unqualified or
candidates that don’t fit his worldview on what a potential airline pilot
should act like. The company already knows this so that’s why they usually
assign him to preside over the non-jeopardy sessions. Pilots are in short
supply since congress mandated first officers must have an ATP rating prior to
flying for a air carrier, and they spend a bit of money recruiting and training
them so they don’t want cowboy instructors sending anyone home after six weeks
of hotels and per diem have been paid out.
“Well somehow you’ve got to learn to calm down, maybe taking
a few of those Advil’s would help you out?”
Travis walks in and interrupts the tirade as the Captain
sneers at me. The debriefing continues but my part is largely done, and Travis did well so the balance goes uneventfully.
All done we pack up and head out to Travis’s truck. My thinking was he would be upset with me for
turning in such a shitty performance. As soon as we clear the building he turns
and say’s “did you believe that guy? What an Asshole” we laugh about this for
the ride back to the hotel, we have a day off before we have to come back for
our next session so we grab some food and drink a few beers. I’m still alive and ready to piss on the next
fire, the barmaid isn’t cute but she is friendly. Two out of three isn’t bad.
